Before I tell you what self-love is, let me tell you what self-love isn’t. Self-Love isn’t selfish, sinful, or an excuse. It begins with accepting and appreciating self. It requires attention & practice. Sometimes people confuse love with obsession and that’s not what is being promoted here. Self-love is not about negating moral grounding but cultivating kindness towards self just the same as towards others. Self-love doesn’t mean the acts of going to the salon, shopping at the malls, spending a day at the spa, pampering self, etc. Self-love is about the experience. It encompasses everything – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
So now that we know what self-love isn’t, let’s get to understand what self-love truly is. Self-love is being in compassion for self. It is a process to treat yourself in the same way you would treat someone you love. Would you be constantly critical of someone you love? Would you call them stupid? Would you deprive them of good sleep or healthy food? Would you ignore them? No. You wouldn’t. So it’s time you do the same for yourself. Be gentle and kind to yourself. Dedicate at least an hour for self-care daily – this is the cornerstone of self-love.
How do we love ourselves?
- Daily Self-care – Be mindful of how you treat yourself – physically as well as emotionally. Eat enough healthy food, meditate, listen to music, exercise and get at least 8 hours of sleep. Self-care has to be extended across all areas of our lives – physical, mental, emotional, behavioral, financial, social, sexual, spiritual, and environmental.
- Be mindful – Be present at the moment. Do not hurry through the day. Gobbling down the food, racing through the traffic, rushing through the meetings, delaying the loo break – all these and more have an adverse effect on the nervous system and invariably lead to stress and anxiety. In fact, experience every moment – savor the food you eat, breathe deeply, listen to sounds intently, sleep peacefully, see the lights, colors, shapes, textures, touch something – anything – feel and acknowledge its being. Be present in every moment.
- Monitor the negative self-talk – “I am such an idiot”, “I just can’t seem to do anything right”, “I am always at fault”, etc. Stop self-criticism. Pay attention to the self-talk and each time you find yourself engaging in negative talk, immediately replace it with three positive things about yourself to balance it out – “I am a good friend”, “I draw really well”, “I am a great listener”, etc.
- Release emotional baggage – We often get into the trap of false positivity, denial, or suppression & repression of our emotions. This impacts our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Practice EFT or Tapping or take a session with an expert to release the junk stored deep in the subconscious.
- Treat yourself like a child – Would you ever say mean things to a child? Would you feed a child unhealthy food? Would you constantly criticize a child? How would you comfort a child? How would you hold and support a child? Treat yourself with the same love, kindness, and compassion.
- Mirror Technique – Use the mirror technique to cultivate self-love. At least once every day, look at yourself in the mirror (preferably full-length) and say, “I love you” to yourself. Don’t say it in a mechanical way – feel it, mean it! It may feel crazy or funny initially but you will get used to it.
- Drop the blames & hurt from the past as well as worries about the future – It requires practice to focus on the present instead of the past & future. Subconscious rewiring, Affirmations, Meditation, Hypnosis, and NLP can help to a great extent. You can also seek help from an expert to enable you to tap into your true potential.
- End all toxic relationships – Anyone or anything that pulls you down or makes you feel unworthy, doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life. End those toxic relationships NOW!
- Celebrate your WINS – Pat yourself on the back each time you accomplish something. Every win should be celebrated – no matter how big or small.
- Write your way to a happier self – Write! Write! Write! Write all your thoughts on paper – crazy, sad, creative, mean, terrifying, uplifting – put them all down. Keep all the positive ones in a journal so that you can keep going back to them if you feel low. Tear or burn the negative thoughts that you would like to let go of.
Why do we love ourselves?
- It is physically unhealthy to not love ourselves. All issues of stress, hypertension, issues with the immune system, endocrine system, etc. stem from the damage we cause by being unkind to ourselves. Self-love is essential for good physical health.
- It is mentally unhealthy to not love ourselves. Lack of self-love leads to overthinking, anxiety, or even depression. Self-love is important for good mental health.
- It is emotionally draining to not love self. This in turn impacts our clarity of thought, decision-making skills, our relationships, and overall emotional well-being.
- We love ourselves to enjoy healthy relationships and friendships with others. If there is a lack of self-love in the aura, fewer people get energetically drawn to us and thus relationships lack depth and commitment.
- Practice self-love for good sex life, and for intimacy in relationships else you would only experience the same (if at all) at a superficial level.
- It is financially draining to not love self. A lot of time & money is spent on recovering the physical, mental, and emotional health that is lost on account of a lack of self-love. Self-love is essential to having an abundance of time, money, and resources.
- Last but not the least, practice self-love because it is WORTH IT!
Remember: Self-love is ever-evolving. Be patient but persistent.
If you are unable to do it on your own, get an accountability partner or seek help from an expert. You are extremely precious to be left alone, unhappy.
If you would like to take a workshop on Self-Love with us, book a healing session, or would like to know more about the science behind self-love, feel free to contact us @ +91- 8800006786.
Our panel of advisors, led by Dr. Chandni Tugnait would love to work with you!